My Mindset As A "Work Widow"

As I lay in my bed writing this post, having just done homework with, played with, fed, bathed, and put all the kids to bed myself, I am think about the next few weeks.  I know that I will not be seeing my husband for at least 2 weeks.  In that time, we will have a weekend trip away, tball practices, quite a few meltdowns, approximately 42ish meals #ISUCKatMath, and my birthday.  I am what I have heard referred to as a "work widow".  I am also tired just thinking about all that!

Now I am not even closely trying to relate this to being a full time single parent, a real widow, or a military wife.  My husband just works a lot of hours, in a career he loves.  Early mornings, late nights, weekends, red eye flights, across the country....nothing is off limits.

I have been told I handle it so well, by many people.  While I can't say I am the perfect wife who never complains, gets angry, or wishes we had a normal 9-5 Monday-Friday schedule, I try to stay as positive as possible about our situation and life in general.

So how do I do it?

First and Foremost, I We make the most of the time we have together.  When we do get a full weekend without anything on the calendar, I try to keep it that way.  We relax, go to the park, maybe enjoy a meal out, head to church as a family.  I also use this time to refuel a bit.  I will take a morning to myself, usually at the mall, just to get some time alone.  My husband is amazing at completely focusing on the kids when he is home.  He is great at playing for hours on end, even when he probably wishes he were catching up on sleep.

I plan and prepare.  Some say I over organize, or write to many lists, but especially now with three kids, I make sure I don't double book myself when it is just me and the kids.  We just can't schedule a dance class on a day where the kids have church school.  It CAN'T happen.  I also try to limit the errands that need ran with all three kids.

 

I always am thankful.  We are so lucky to be in the position we are.  I am able to stay home, my husband is in a great position at work, and him being busy means things are going well.  There are so many who go through the struggle of loosing a job, trying to find work.  Heck, that could be us.  I am just so grateful that my husband's hard work and long hours have provided for us in so many ways.

{Matthew and Lillian "helping" at Daddy's office Fall 2010}

I remind myself that he doesn't want to be away.  My husband is working to support and provide for his family.  Yes he is career driven, and loves his job, but he doesn't want to be away from us.  He is doing it for us.  He may get fancy hotel rooms, great meals out, but he is also working his tail off, it isn't a vacation, and you know what those hotel beds don't come with, 6am snuggles, which I know he misses!

{Matt and Joshua Summer 2013}

One word, FaceTime.  This was a game changer for us.  Luckily the kids really haven't had a time that they remember without being able to chat face to face with their Dad.  Sometimes if he is on the west coast with the time change it gets a bit tricky, but being able for them to see him really helps.

Prioritizing.  When Matt is away I put my nose to the grindstone (one of my former teachers or coaches used to say that all the time).  I realize that if I don't do something then it isn't going to get done.  I really focus on doing/being my best when he is away.  It makes it easier on him, if he knows that all is well at home.

#naptime.  I have admitted before to occasionally taking a nap during the kids nap time, and when my husband is gone, this happens pretty frequently.  I don't sleep at night so well without him home, so I make up for it during nap.

I am so proud of my husband, the person, husband, and father that he is.  I know that if I were to complain all the time about our situation, it would just make everyone miserable.

Life As A Mom Of Three

So it has been a year as me being a mom of three.  I have learned so much in the past year.  I somehow come across so many people with 2 kids debating whether to try for a third or not.  For us there was such a big time period where we weren't sure whether to have another baby or be done after Lilly.  When Lilly was almost 3 we decided to try and  see how it goes.  We have never had problems getting pregnant.  And sure enough about a month after making the decision, we found out we were pregnant.

I never in a million years would have imagined the difference between having 2 kids to having 3.  While I know if we wouldn't of had Joshua my heart would have always ached for 1 more baby, the transition has made me a bit frazzled.  I no longer have it all together.  I actually am now late for things, I forget things, I say no to helping with things, because I am simply too busy.  Is Joshua worth it, absolutely 100%, that question is so laughable.  Would my life be different with just two kids, easier, less hectic.... well, yes.  I would have 9 hours a week right now to myself without any kids.  In the fall I would have both children in school all day.  I would have no bottles in the house, diapers would be a thing of the past, there would be no nighttime wake-ups.

Every season of life is a just that, a season, it will come and before I know it, it will be gone.  I would do anything to go back and relive the newborn days with all three of my babies.  Those are some of my happiest times in my life.

When people ask my opinion on having a third or sticking with two, I usually tell them that with three there is never a moment where someone other than yourself needs something.  Attention, food, cleaning, driven somewhere, you name it.  But seeing all three of my kids snuggled together, playing, or reading just melts my heart.  You will always wonder if you don't have another, but if you have another, you will never regret it.

I may never be 15 minutes early for every appointment again, supreme room mom, or be able to workout at the gym 5 mornings a week, but I have a full house.  Full of love, laughter, and....well, kids!

School Uniforms - Week One

School uniforms are a growing trend, not only among private schools, but also starting to make appearances in public schools as well.  My son's school was selected out of our division to be the first to transfer to uniforms, a pilot program to see how it goes.  

How I Feel About This??

Not that it really matters at this point, decisions have been made and it is what it is, there is no point in complaining about it.  In a lot of ways I understand using uniforms to make the school environment more conducive to learning.   On the other hand, kids are kids, let them be kids.  

As you can see, I really don't have a strong stance on this.  I can afford regular clothes just as easily as uniforms.  It really isn't going to impact our life that much.

My dilemma has been where to start, what pieces to buy, which to skip, how to change things up, what brands are best.  Which is where this series originated.  

How Have I Told My Kids?

So far only Matthew will be affected by this.  Also he doesn't have much to compare to.  Last year was kindergarten.  So he has only had 1 year in our elementary school.  We are still 1 month out from school starting, so we are trying to soak in summer.  I have told him that he will be wearing uniforms, but not gone into much detail.  I am more of a less is more kind of mom when it comes to conversations.  In the end he just has to understand that sometimes we have to do things we don't want to, and get over it. 

I feel once Lilly and even JD start school (who knows if this lasts that long, or we even live here) it would be easier starting it off from the beginning, not knowing any different.  There really wouldn't be any conversation to have, other than this is what we do as school.

Tips for Telling Your Kids:

1. Bring it up casually, of course the older they are, the bigger of an opinion about it they will have.  

2.  No Matter how you as a the parent feel about it, don't let that show.  If you portray a negative attitude, your kids will play off that too.  

3.  Have your kids come up with some positive aspects of the situation, you just telling them isn't going to do much, but them figuring some out will be better.

4.  If all else fails, go with the "Well these are the rules, and sometimes we have to do things we don't want.  End. Of. Story.

I was hoping to have found some information online about introducing the idea to the kids, and tips on what to buy, where to buy.... funny how all I came up with was debates and information on how great or awful of a concept it is.

So that's where I'm at, since I couldn't find much help online, I thought I would share my experience.  

SO.....over the next few weeks I am going to share what I feel is going to work for us.  

                                                    Week 2: Where To Buy

                                                    Week 3: Starting a Uniform Wardrobe

                                                    Week 4: Final Thoughts and Tips

Also PLEASE if you have any advice or tips please email me or comment!  I would love to hear from y'all!

Linking up with, Kelly, Megan, and Lindsay Trendy Tot Tuesday

What's In My Diaper Bag

I have now been my new Diaper Bag for 6 months. So I thought today I would do a review and a What's In My Diaper Bag. For a more in depth look, head over to My YouTube Channel and check out my latest video! 

A few weeks before JD was born, I finally after months of searching decided on a bag.  I went with the Petunia Pickle Bottom diaper bag.  The style is the Sashay Satchel.  I got a simple black bag.  

 

I love how sleek and un diaper bag like it looks.  I got my bag at Nordstrom, but have seen them so many places online. 

I also purchased the stroller clips (which you can see hanging on the side in the photo above)  I keep them on the bag, because it is too hard to keep them attached to the stroller and clip them in every time. 

Here is everything that was in my bag.  I usually pack pretty light, with just the necessities.  I usually throw in a sun hat as well, but for some reason it was missing.  Also missing from this pic are my car keys. 

The bag also comes with a wipes case and diaper changing pad.  I don't use these items with the bag, but did save them to use when we travel.  I use disposable changing pads when I need to change in public, and I use travel size wipes.  

Today I am linking up with Trendy Tot Tuesday!  

Although this isn't my typical post for Trendy Tot, I decided that a good, stylish diaper bag is a necessity for any mom!  

Hall Closet Organization

So yesterday morning I went to grab some shoes, and BAM, 10 things came falling out of our hall closet.  It was time to clean.  Luckily it is a small space, so it didn't take too long.

 I started by cleaning the top shelf.  I pulled anything that wasn't summer related and stored it in another location.  Now along the top shelf is a basket of miscellaneous items, a tote bag for the beach/pool, a basketball, and a picnic blanket (this is a spare, I also have a waterproof one that stays in my van)

During the summer we don't need a ton of things hanging, so I keep it simple, a hood for each child, and some jackets for me.

I also have some storage bins for items.  This keeps them nice and neat, and from gathering all over the floor.

Shoe storage was the most difficult for me to tackle, so I broke down and got an over the door shoe organizer.  I really dislike this form of organization, but I will say, that for the kids shoes (and a few other items) it is working well for us.  I still don't like them though :)

Trendy Tot Tuesday - Week 3

This weeks OOTD is Lillian on a day that we did nothing but housework during the day, and then spent the afternoon at the park.  It takes a lot of convincing to get her to not wear pink, frills, or a dress.  As you can see she had to sneak a bit of pink in with the headband and Crocs.

 

{Shirt: Old Navy /Overalls: H&M / Shoes: Crocs from Nordstrom / Headband: Target, I think}

I love dressing my kids, my boy, my girly girl, and my baby. But I have started to notice that they pay attention, kids at school are now telling my son that his shoes are Nike, instead of me just saying sneakers.  I like to buy good quality clothing.  I just do, but I don't want my kids to become "Label Lovers".  I really don't want to when they are teens have a constant battle over how much is spent on clothing.  And I REALLY don't want my children making fun of, or excluding someone because of there clothing.  Is this something anyone else thinks about or is it just me? 

I ask, because at this point I have no real answer on how to navigate through this. 

Once again I am linking up with Megan, Kelly, and Lindsay for Trendy Tot Tuesday!

Faith, Hope, Love and Luck.

Yesterday Lillian found this gem in our front yard. She was so excited.

Last night I sat and thought.

A clover with 4 leaves.

Such a rarity.

Many know the meaning behind it. Faith, hope, love and luck.

4 things that I think Are so important to have in life.

Faith. No matter what it is, you have to have faith in something. Trusting in something or someone. Whether it be faith within religion, faith in your spouse, faith in humanity. Trust is something that (to me) is so hard to gain, but so sacred.

Hope. Living without hope would be so horrible. Even with all the horrible events in the world (especially this past week) we must live with hope that the world will become a better place. Hope for our children's future. Hope for a wonderful fulfilling life.

Love. For me this one is simple. Without the love of my husband, children, and family my life would be nothing. Also giving that love right back to them. My goal every day is to remind Matt, Matthew, Lillian and Joshua how much they are loved by me.

Luck. You an have all the determination, will power, and hard work in life, but let's face it, sometimes a little luck is what you need.

So Miss Lilly, I hope this 4 leaf clover, that you have perfectly set inside your jewelry box, gives you all of these things. Because my sweet girl, you deserve faith, hope, love and luck everyday, no matter what.

My Kids Deserve To Be Worry Free.

When anything devastating happens my first thought is to say a prayer for those affected. Shortly after my mind wanders to my children.

How does this affect them.

Is there a need for them to know?

The day of the Newtown shooting, I cried and want to go take my Kindergartener out of school right away, bring him home to me. But I didn't.

I don't my kids to worry, I want them to always feel safe, taken care of, naive to all the horrible things in life.

So days like Monday. I take 10 minutes watch the news to be informed, then I block it out and go on for my kids. I drive carpool, I take them to practice, I play dress up, make meals. I continue on with a heavy heart.

There will be plenty of time to have to explain the evil in this world. At that time, I have no clue how I will even begin to explain things. I do love Mr. Rodgers and the thought of seeing the good people and heroes and focusing on those people who are helping.

For now I am going to protect the innocence in my children for as long as I can.

Easter Baskets

I am not a huge fan of the Easter Bunny Idea, and it made me furious when Matthew tugged my arm in church Easter morning asking when the Easter Bunny was coming (Mom FAIL).  I do enjoy putting baskets together, but I guess I would be happier if they just knew they were from us.  We don't go see the Easter Bunny or really discuss it.  I don't know I just am not a fan of the whole thing. 

I also don't give my children candy.  Rarely.  Easter is a time where I do give in.  So here is a peak into the kids baskets this year.  The actual basket is the Pottery Barn Kids (large) Basket.  I should have returned them and gone with the smaller size, they are REALLY big.  I didn't order liners this year, but may in the future.

Joshua's Basket

3 Months Old

{It is not easy to make a basket for a 3 month old.  to soon for any type of food.  So I did some travel size shampoos, eggs filled with pacifiers, a few small toys that he should grow into soon, baby sunscreen, wipes, and a few board books}

Lilly's Basket

3 Years Old

{New Shoes, 2 Books, some pom poms, an outfit, chocolate milk, fruit strips, mini muffins, a new movie, and eggs with coins, dollars, and I think 3 had candy}

Matthew's Basket

5 Years Old

{New Shoes, a movie, a book, a Ninja Turtle Toy, Apple Juice, mini muffins, and eggs filled with coins, dollars, and some with candy}

Having said what I did about the whole Bunny thing, look at their faces when the Easter Bunny made a surprise appearance when we were out to lunch.

One thing I do love is styling my kids to match.  LOVE the big puffy Easter dress from Gymboree, so I styled everything around that.

Blankey Babies

Both Matthew and Lilly were both blankey babies. So I just figure Joshua will be as well.  It is so fun looking back through old pictures of the kids with there favorite thing. It is also funny to see how badly the blankets have faded, and been beat up over the years.

It took Matthew the longest to get attached to his, I would say it was around 4 or 5 months.

{Our trip to Disney, sleeping with Blankey on the ferry ride.}

With Lilly she was pretty much attached to hers from day one.

{Matthew and Lilly with both of there blankeys}

 

{Lilly with her blanket dressed up like a kitten for Halloween}

So deciding on a blanket for Joshua was kind of a big deal for me.  I wanted something sturdy but also soft and snuggly.  I found the one below at Nordstrom and love it. 

Now both Matthew and Lilly only use their blankets at bedtime and if we are watching a movie.  We also let them take them in the car if we are making a long trip.  We really haven't discussed taking them away at all.  I would love to have something left of them to put in their box of baby items.  I don't think it is something we will push, because I don't see it as a problem right now. 

A Fresh Start.

For a few weeks now I have been feeling the need for some changes to make things run more smoothly in our house.  There are some things that go really well in our routine, like our bedtime routine, but others that need some attention.  Hopefully within the next month or so I will feel better about the things that need some help.

1.  My kids are such picky eaters.  Me being a short order chef at dinner has GOT to stop.  For the past week I have been making one meal for the entire family, and there is no other option.  It has been hell so far.  Matthew has done really well, and eaten somethings I would have never even put on his plate.  He ate more vegetables this week than I think he has in his life.  Lilly on the other hand....is making this a nightmare.  She refuses to even try anything new.  I think it is the age difference.  Matthew understands that if he just eats it, then it isn't that bad, and he can be done.  Lilly screams, cries, yells, hits, makes us feel like the worst parents in the world.  I am really hoping that if we stick to the plan that she will come around.

2.  This mama needs some time to herself.  I have got to starting eating meals throughout the day, and not just forgetting because I am too busy/tired.  Since we know we are done having kids, I really want to lose the baby weight that has lingered between children for the past 5 years.  Taking the 45 minutes to an hour to work out once a day should not be that difficult.  Yet I seem to never make the time.  This is going to change. I feel so much better once I work out and have so much more energy.

3.  I also need to start taking at least 1 day a week where we just stay home.  Where we get Matthew off to school, then come home and stay until we pick him up.  Play dates are fun, but when we are out of the house every single day, my house becomes a disaster.  I have also noticed that Lilly enjoys being home, playing with toys to herself.

I guess I just feel like now that Joshua is sleeping through the night (yep, my 7 week old is sleeping in his crib, in his room, through the night!  Lucky me) I need to get myself out of that "I have a newborn" phase.  I have no excuse to be tired.  It is time to regain some control over things, and have a little less chaos in our life!

Wish Me Luck!

New Items for a Third Baby

Now that we are going on baby number 3, there weren't many items that we needed to purchase before his arrival.  We had saved everything from our first 2, so I actually think we ended up getting rid of more than we bought.  But with every new little one, there are a few things you can purchase/need to purchase to make life easier, and here are the things I have gotten over the past 9 months.

1.  A new diaper bag, or 2 or 3!  I was to the point with a 5 year old and 3 year old that an actual diaper bag was no longer needed on a daily basis.  So the search began.  Here is what I have chosen.

The first is a Bella Tunno bag. I found this gem through a playgroup friend.  She has it and I fell in love.  It is a larger bag, so I am using it as my hospital diaper bag. 

 The second is a Petunia Pickle Bottom.  After debating back and forth between so many bags, I decided on the Sashay Satchel.  I ordered mine through Nordstrom and am still waiting on delivery.  I have seen it in the store so I know it is what I want, I just wanted a color they did not have in stock.

I wanted the red interior....isn't it lovely!

Anyway, I obviously haven't used either bag yet, and hope to do reviews/ what's in my diaper bag posts once I know what I love/dislike about them.

2.  A Carrier.  I didn't wear Matthew or Lilly, but it is something that I really want to do this time around, mostly for convenience.  We are much more on the go now, and I know it will be useful on play dates, school functions, sports practices/games.  After researching I decided to go with the Boba 3G.   I like the Boba because you don't need an insert to use for infants.  This was actually a Christmas present from my husband.  I put my 3 year old in it, just for fun one evening, and it was surprisingly comfortable even with my 35lb big girl on my back.

 
 3. Aden and Anais everything.  I love this product, and I don't even remember them being around the last time I had a newborn, so I stocked up with the swaddlers and the burpy bibs.  Once again I got mine at Nordstrom, but they are available at a number of retailers and online.

 4.  I also start out every new baby with fresh bottles.  I bottle feed from day 1, so they get a lot of use.  Every baby is different, but my first 2 both used Avent without any issues, so that is what we will start with this time.  I have also received a few of the new Similac bottles in the mail, so I have those as a backup.

We will also need to purchase a highchair at some point.  After 2 kids our old one was in no condition to use again.  And eventually we will need a new convertible car seat as ours expired and can no longer be used.  These are items we can wait on though, and not buy until we need them.

 

The Hospital Bag

As I prepared for my 3rd c-section delivery, and the 2nd scheduled, I knew when starting to pack to keep it simple. I know the things I will use, and the things I can do without for a few days. Obviously the items people take are different based on their preferences, but this is what I am taking.

For me, I know I will not be laboring, so I don't need anything for that time period.  I will however, be in the hospital for at least 2 nights (really hoping for only 2).

1.  Toiletries.  Travel size of everything.  Shampoo, face wash, toothbrush/toothpaste, mouthwash, cleansing wipes for the first night when I am still confined to a bed.  I also have my make-up bag with a few items.

2.  Clothes.  I try to not over pack.  I have a pair of pajamas, 1 going home outfit (I will also have the outfit I am wearing to to the hospital which will include a fleece jacket), 2 tank tops, socks, sports bras, underwear.

3.  Hairties, clips and a headband.

1.  I keep my little ones in the hospital supplied clothing until leaving, so all I have is 1 complete outfit, and a sleeper.  1 of which he will wear home.

2.  A big blanket for the car ride home, and a muslin swaddler.  

3.  My Ipad, phone, a charger.  I also need to add my wallet which has all my insurance info, and some cash.  

4.  A hat, some socks and the kind of pacifier we want to use.  

5.  The Boppy pillow, which was so nice for holding the baby the first few days when I am either not mobile or trying to be as sensitive to my abdomen as possible.

In my last bag, I have my big camera, and gifts for big brother and big sister from the new baby.  There is extra space in this bag to add things in as needed.

Some items I will be adding before we leave.

-my life planner and a pen/pencil (not sure if I will use it, but it goes everywhere with me)

- a hairbrush

- my husband will be packing some clothes in the suitcase as well.  He will also be taking his laptop/computer bag which is why I won't be taking one myself, I can just use his.

Some items I am leaving at home on purpose.

-My own pillow....it just is another thing to remember, so I will just stick with the ones provided. 

-snacks/other items for my husband....no offense, but he can fend for himself!

Also I know that if I forget something, I can either have my parents bring it to the hospital when they visit (they are staying at our house with the older siblings) or I can do without it for a few days.

 

A New Love In My Life

.....my mini-van.  We knew once getting pregnant that my tiny Hyundai Accent would no longer fit our growing family.  My husband wanted a big SUV.  I did not.  I eventually want to switch back to an SUV but with a 5 year old (who just learned to buckle and unbuckle himself, and a three year old who cannot unbuckle herself, that me climbing in the back would get annoying fast.

We looked and compared vans, when we started it was between the Toyota Sienna, Kia Sedona, and the Honda Oddessey.  We ruled out the Sedona pretty quick, we have a Kia Sorento that we LOVE so thought we would research it, but right away knew it wasn't for us.  I thought the Sienna was what I wanted but couldn't pass up the deal we got on the Oddessey.

We have only had it for about a month, but already know what I love and dislike about it.

Loves:

1.The automatic sliding rear doors.  I mean it is fantastic.  

2. I love that it seats 8 if needed.  I thought I didn't want that because I had it in my head that the 8th seat wouldn't be able to hold an 80lb person, but I was wrong, there is plenty of space between the carseats for grandma!

3.  I love all the space.  It is such a difference from my small car.  It is great.
4.  The back seat windows have sunshades built in.  So no buying the ones from the store that you have to stick to the window, these slide up and hook in, or you can slide them down and not use them.

Dislikes:

1.  I don't like that their isn't any room for storage under the seats.  I was looking forward to using bins to organize under each middle seat, but that just won't work.

2.  I don't like that when I have a stroller in the back (which is always) their isn't much trunk space.  I have some space for an organization bin, but that is about it.  No room for groceries.

Below are photos of how and what I am organizing in my van so far.  

1. Glove Box.  I have all the car information, a first aid kit with all the essentials, and I have my IPhone charger.  

2. Center Console.  This is my mommy bin.  I have deodorant, lotion, a hairbrush and hair ties, mints, wet ones.  The kids DVD players and cords are also stored in here (we only pull them out for long road trips, but it is nice keeping them in the car, just in case!)

3.  Between the kids.  Right now I have a bin that I purchased from The Container Store, it has some books, dvds, small toys.  It is great while sitting at the kiss and ride at my sons school.  My daughter sits and reads books instead of whining that it is taking too long.

4.  Under the Passenger Seat.  I have two containers....like I said earlier there isn't much space, and these slide around a lot (need to find a solution to that).  Anyway, 1 holds drinks (water bottles, and juice) and the other has snacks (things that won't go bad in the car, goldfish, vanilla wafers, granola bars, lollipops)  These have already come in very handy for when I forget something.  **The other day I had to make an unexpected trip to the Dr.  and dropped my kids off at Daddy's work, I didn't have any food on me, so this was a lifesaver.

5.  Trunk.  I have a picnic blanket, I love that it zips up neatly (similar), Stroller (Baby Trend Expedition), Grocery Bags, a bin that holds a change of clothes and a jacket for each child, a jacket for me, and sunscreen/bug spray.  Matthew's baseball bag.  On the side is the portable potty (this is a must have item for me!), bags, changing pad, wipes, and garbage bags.

I am sure the organizational needs will change with what season it is, and once the baby is here, but for now I am happy with it.  I really want to add a label maker in there, but am afraid of what my husband will say....I just always feel like there is something I am forgetting to put a label on, and hate doing it with marker.