My Mindset As A "Work Widow"

As I lay in my bed writing this post, having just done homework with, played with, fed, bathed, and put all the kids to bed myself, I am think about the next few weeks.  I know that I will not be seeing my husband for at least 2 weeks.  In that time, we will have a weekend trip away, tball practices, quite a few meltdowns, approximately 42ish meals #ISUCKatMath, and my birthday.  I am what I have heard referred to as a "work widow".  I am also tired just thinking about all that!

Now I am not even closely trying to relate this to being a full time single parent, a real widow, or a military wife.  My husband just works a lot of hours, in a career he loves.  Early mornings, late nights, weekends, red eye flights, across the country....nothing is off limits.

I have been told I handle it so well, by many people.  While I can't say I am the perfect wife who never complains, gets angry, or wishes we had a normal 9-5 Monday-Friday schedule, I try to stay as positive as possible about our situation and life in general.

So how do I do it?

First and Foremost, I We make the most of the time we have together.  When we do get a full weekend without anything on the calendar, I try to keep it that way.  We relax, go to the park, maybe enjoy a meal out, head to church as a family.  I also use this time to refuel a bit.  I will take a morning to myself, usually at the mall, just to get some time alone.  My husband is amazing at completely focusing on the kids when he is home.  He is great at playing for hours on end, even when he probably wishes he were catching up on sleep.

I plan and prepare.  Some say I over organize, or write to many lists, but especially now with three kids, I make sure I don't double book myself when it is just me and the kids.  We just can't schedule a dance class on a day where the kids have church school.  It CAN'T happen.  I also try to limit the errands that need ran with all three kids.

 

I always am thankful.  We are so lucky to be in the position we are.  I am able to stay home, my husband is in a great position at work, and him being busy means things are going well.  There are so many who go through the struggle of loosing a job, trying to find work.  Heck, that could be us.  I am just so grateful that my husband's hard work and long hours have provided for us in so many ways.

{Matthew and Lillian "helping" at Daddy's office Fall 2010}

I remind myself that he doesn't want to be away.  My husband is working to support and provide for his family.  Yes he is career driven, and loves his job, but he doesn't want to be away from us.  He is doing it for us.  He may get fancy hotel rooms, great meals out, but he is also working his tail off, it isn't a vacation, and you know what those hotel beds don't come with, 6am snuggles, which I know he misses!

{Matt and Joshua Summer 2013}

One word, FaceTime.  This was a game changer for us.  Luckily the kids really haven't had a time that they remember without being able to chat face to face with their Dad.  Sometimes if he is on the west coast with the time change it gets a bit tricky, but being able for them to see him really helps.

Prioritizing.  When Matt is away I put my nose to the grindstone (one of my former teachers or coaches used to say that all the time).  I realize that if I don't do something then it isn't going to get done.  I really focus on doing/being my best when he is away.  It makes it easier on him, if he knows that all is well at home.

#naptime.  I have admitted before to occasionally taking a nap during the kids nap time, and when my husband is gone, this happens pretty frequently.  I don't sleep at night so well without him home, so I make up for it during nap.

I am so proud of my husband, the person, husband, and father that he is.  I know that if I were to complain all the time about our situation, it would just make everyone miserable.

Our Daily Routine - Winter 2014

I am a big believer in having a routine.  Especially with children, I think that life runs more smoothly when everyone is on the same page and knows what to expect.  I have had requests to share our daily routine.  It is so hard to get it all out, because it does change frequently, and as seasons change and the kids school/activities change our day shifts.  Here is our current daily routine for Winter 2014.

5AM- Joshua is still waking up for a morning bottle, he is off of formula, just drinking whole  milk now, but it is something he isn't ready to get rid of, he falls back asleep right after.

6:30AM- WAKE UP.  I get myself dressed, and start making breakfast.  I also start packing lunches as well.

7AM- Matthew and Lilly wake up, get dressed, and eat.  Then they brush their teeth and get ready to head to school.  Joshua usually wakes up around this time as well, and eats breakfast.

7:43AM- We take Matthew to school.  After we drop him off we head back home.  I spend this time getting ready/shower.  I also do my hair and make up too.  During this time Lilly and Joshua are playing upstairs in their rooms.  (I do my hair and makeup in my room, which I can see into their rooms while doing so)

9AM- M/W/F Lilly has school.  We drop her off, and either head home or run errands.  Joshua takes a nap from 9-10:30, if we are home he naps in the crib, if we are out he naps in the car/stroller/Boba Carrier.

9:30AM-11:40AM - If we are home this is my most productive time of the day.  Since JD is sleeping I have 2 uninterrupted hours to work.  I almost always film during this time, clean, do laundry.... On days Lilly doesn't have school we either stay home to play, run errands, have gymnastics....

12PM- Pick up Lilly from school.  If it is a non-school day this is the time I make sure we are headed home by.

12:30PM- Lunchtime.  Then straight to bed for naps.  Lilly and Joshua both nap from 1-3.  During this time I eat my lunch, watch tv, rotate laundry, edit, nap....

3PM- Pick up Matthew.  We head straight home do homework right away, have a snack and then play.  I can usually get some cleaning done while the kids play.  I also start making dinner.

6:15PM- Dinner.   This is when Matt gets home from work, so we eat as a family at the table.  After dinner is playtime with Daddy.  I can usually sneak away to get some work done during this time. (Only on days he is home on time.  He works late a lot)

7:30- Bedtime routine.  Baths/PJs/Brush Teeth/Reading/Potty/Prayers/Goodnight!

8PM- Kids are in bed.  This is when my husband and I take the 20 minutes to do all the dishes, clean the counters, sweep the kitchen/dining room, clean up clutter from the living room.  

8:30-11PM- We just hang out.  Watching TV, working on the computer, anything really.

11PM- Goodnight!

So that is our day.  It seems so long all written out!  Weekends are a lot less structured, since the kids don't have school.  We try to keep them pretty relaxed.

Currently.....

{Watching}

The News.  I am so desperately hoping the forecast is correct and the next winter storm headed our way tomorrow today will just be rain.  I cannot handle anymore snow days this winter.  I never realized how little I get done when all the kids are inside the house ALL. DAY. LONG.

{Thinking About}

How unprepared I am for the week.  I really need to sit down and just plan out my week on Sunday nights or I feel lost.  I didn't do that last night, and am paying for it today.  

{Eating}

My current breakfast.  Egg whites and toast.

{Loving}

My new Benefit liquid foundation....seriously in love!

{Planning}

A few exciting things for summer..... a bit early to talk about.   Short term I am thinking my Valentine  decorations need to come out today.  I found adorable placemats at Home Goods this weekend, and need to pull out my other decor ASAP.  Since my kids ganged up on me and opted for bought cheesy Valentines for their friends instead of letting me be controlling and making cute home made ones, I am going to Valentine the crap out of our house.

{Not Really Loving}

The lack of blogging going on lately.  I don't know why, maybe because it's winter and there just isn't a lot going on, but man I am pulling for straws lately on here.  There has been a lot more content on my YouTube Channel Though.....so check that out.

{Finishing}

I just finished this really fun Tag video about my home.

{Looking Forward To}

My husband moving into his new office building.  We went yesterday to check it out, and they are weeks away from moving in.  I am helping with his office organization, and can't wait.  While there, we of course had to scope out the shopping situation nearby.  It is a lot to live up to where they are now, blocks away from the largest mall in DC Metro, and one of the largest in the country, but it works.  

{Favorite Photos}

{Lilly taking a pic of her grandparent, to look at when she missed them} 

{My sports obsessed son and I watching NCAA bball.... #imnotcomplaining}

{Falling asleep at the dinner table.  Being 1 is hard work} 

 {Car selfie on a Sunday, just happy the sun was shining}

Happy Monday Everyone!!!!

First Sleepover

As kids get bigger, they go through less of those "firsts".  For Joshua it seems like he is doing something for the first time everyday, but for Matthew, not so much.  

This weekend, he experienced his first sleepover.  He was so excited, his friend was so excited.  I was a nervous wreck.  Luckily the other boy's mom is a really good friend of mine, so that made me feel much better.  

Lilly was a mess that evening, we realized that in her entire life, she has never spent a night away from her big brother, they have stayed without us, but never without each other.  She cried, and moped around.  It was so sweet.

I am happy to report that he made it through the night, there was no driving in the middle of the night, or crying phone calls.  He was mad when it was time to go home.  He was the first out of the 5 boys to go to sleep and the last to wake up. 

The best part.... the next day I had all 3 kids napping at the same time.  Matthew doesn't nap anymore, but he snuggled up on the couch with me, and we all slept.  

10 Things I Learned During My Latest Blog Break

So it's been a few weeks.  Normally when I unintentionally take a blogging break I feel so guilty and beat myself up over it.  This time, it while not intentional, it was needed, and honestly I don't think I could have found the time or energy to write over the past few weeks.

A Lot has been going on.   A Lot isn't a big enough word.  Major life choices, grown up headaches over life.  

Now, things have slowed down, things are back to normal, I am actually closing my eyes and sleeping at night.

For today, the things I have learned in the past few weeks.  Some I already knew, but was reminded.

 

 1.  My in-laws are amazing.  They took on the role of caring for all 3 kids for 4 days.  The kids had a fantastic time. 

 2. Guys, I can't even begin to explain Matthew's obsession with sports.  This is a list of "his" football games for week 7.  Not only does he watch and know who is playing / winning / the final scores of the real games, he also makes up his own and plays them out in the playroom.  It is the cutest thing ever.

 

3.  Nothing beats a Friday Night Jenga game night.

4.  While I still HATE surprises, my husband sure knows the right way to go about it.  Hello beautiful iPad baby.  Now I am just impatiently waiting for it's home, which is an Erin Condren case!

5.  Chuck E Cheese sketch pictures are always a wonderful addition to my refrigerator. 

6.  Wearing real clothes, and going out with adults sans kids, is so fun.  

7.  I met my husband and got to know him as we worked side by side, and man did I miss it.  I wouldn't change anything, and was happy to be home and back to mommy duty, but being behind a switcher, with him directing to my left, was incredible.

8. Fall in Pennsylvania is the most beautiful.  Amazing.  Also my in-laws home is probably on my top 5 list of favorite places.

9. Life can be so unpredictable, confusing, tiring, unbelievable, and absolutely amazing all at the same time.  Sometimes you don't realize it in the moment.  It just takes a bit to understand it all.

10. I LOVE television.  I watch a lot of tv in the evenings when the kids are in bed.  WE never have it on during the day (except during nap) but once they go to bed, it is on until we go to sleep.  I have learned, I don't miss most of it when I go a few weeks without watching it.  I ended up going through my DVR and just deleting a lot that was on there, which in turn somehow de-stressed me. 

As far as where I have been/ what's been going on..... it really isn't important.  I will say it wasn't any of the gossipy juicy stuff like relationship, pregnancy, fighting.  

**Just so y'all know, this post does include a referral link!

One Thing I'll Miss

I don't really think about life without my littles too often (ok, maybe after a very long week, looking onto a longer weekend filled with sports, and birthday parties, and chaos), but today as I hung the latest works of art onto our pantry door, I couldn't help to think how bad I will miss when my house isn't covered it their creations.

 

To some it may look like clutter, and I guarantee you won't be seeing my fridge in a family home magazine, but it makes me smile, everyday.

 

Dealing With Nightmares

When you have children you quickly learn that there is always something to worry about.  As a mom you want to make your child's life as carefree and innocent as possible.

Recently Matthew has started having nightmares.  It is terrible, thinking something is scaring your child so badly, and there isn't much you can do to stop or avoid it.  All of our children are great sleepers.  They have slept in their own bed in their own room from a very young age.  They rarely wake in the night.  When Matthew woke whimpering for me in the early hours of the morning we knew something was up.  Honestly, I thought he had an accident.  He instantly told me that he had a nightmare, and continued to recap the entire dream in detail.  We let him come sleep the last hour and a half in our bed, and we didn't think much of it the next day.  When we went to put the kids to bed, Matthew was not ok.  He didn't want to shut his eyes, he didn't want to be in his room.  My husband made him feel better by placing one of my loose fitting hair ties around his wrist to comfort him, saying that is what he does when he gets nightmares (so cute, right!)  **BTW, it has been about a week since we did this, and he hasn't had another nightmare since.  He still wears the hair tie at night, but has been sleeping great again.

Some other things we do to create a calm bedtime routine:

*We do the same routine every night at the same time.
*We shower, put on pjs brush teeth, get a drink
*We read stories in our bed.  They each pick 1 and then we read from a chapter book.
*We say prayers, go potty one more time and head to bed.
*In their rooms they each have a blanky (which they have had since birth) and a LeapFrog My Pal Scout.  In Matthew's room there is also a cd player that plays the same Lullaby CD That he has listened to since the day he came home from the hospital.
*They also each have nightlights in their room as well.


My heart can't handle these nightmares, so I hope so badly they go away soon.  In the mean time, while we lay at bedtime, talking a few minutes before lights out,  I am trying to make this a teachable moment.  Telling Matthew how it is so important to be brave.  That he is brave.  That the superheros he looks up to are brave.  To not be afraid.  That so many wonderful things happen as long as you are not scared.  Bravery is such a wonderful character trait, one that I do not have.  One that I so hope my boys develop, because when you are brave I feel you can confront the bad dreams you may have, and chase the good ones.

10 Time Management Tips For Busy Moms

Moms are busy, there is no arguing that.  Life is chaotic with kids, no matter what their ages.  There are things you can do as a mom to make your life easier, and make you feel more in control.  I feel like good time management goes a long way in making days/weeks run more smoothly.

{one} Establish A Routine.  No matter what age of your children.  Kids love and thrive on knowing what to expect.  Knowing when they are eating, sleeping, bathing, playing.  Work hard to get on a routine that works for your family, and stick to it.  Every family is different, so it is hard to spell out what a routine should be.  If you want a look into our life check out this post!

{two} Get A Good Great Planner. This is such a personal preference.  I am in love, and have been for 3 years with my Erin Condren Life Planner.  I have also heard people love the Filofax,MomAgenda , or even making your own.  You can you ICal and sync with your spouse or family Google calender, but I suggest working on paper. From meal plans, to kids activities, to your husbands commitments,  Write everything down!  It will make life so much easier.  

{three} Enlist Your Kids for Help. Cleaning my 6 & 4 year olds rooms should NOT be my responsibility.  Yea, I may have to go through when I am in there dusting and sweeping and put away some things, but on the day to day, your kids should be able to help out by cleaning their bedrooms, toys, and also clearing their plates from meals.  After school, your school aged children should also get into the routine of taking care of putting their lunch items away, and hanging their book bag. 

{four} Take Advantage of Unusable Time. Sitting in the car during carpool, or waiting for CCD to be over, or gymnastics, is so frustrating to me.  I used to sit there thinking of all that could be done.  When in reality this is a great time to work.  First thing I do, make sure my car is cleaned up.  I mean you are in the car anyway, why not freshen it up.  Also making phone calls.  Lastly, I always have my planner with me, so I can meal plan, or make a list of things I want to accomplish the next day.  Doing billing, or writing letters would also be something you could easily do from the car.

{five} Sometimes Take The Juice Boxes. I have trouble with this, but it is ok to sign up to take something as simple as plates to the class party.  You don't ALWAYS have to make the cupcakes, or fruit sticks, or another awesome Pinterest find for the party.  Also you can say no once in awhile too, if your life is just too overloaded.

{six} Make A List.  Every night before I settle in to relax for the night, I make a to-do list for the next day.  Now the list hardly ever get completed, but it is nice to start each day with a plan.

{seven} Step Away, Just Take A Nap.  If everything is just too overwhelming, you don't know where to start, and your kids are down for their nap, join them.  Naps make everything better! 

{eight} Don't Run Errands With Your Kids.  I know this isn't always doable, but when you can run errands alone.  It goes so much faster when you don't have to strap and unstrap kids in and out of the car at every stop.  Not to mention you bypass the tantrums, slow walkers, kids running the isles.  When I can't go alone, I pick a time I have the least amount of children with me.  Why run to Target with all three kids on a Friday afternoon when I can go Monday morning with just the baby while the others are at school.

{nine} Go To Bed With A Semi-Clean House.  Sometimes this is so hard, but so worth it.  If you go to bed with your living room, dining room, and kitchen de-cluttered and put away, it will just make you happy the next morning.  No one like waking up knowing they are already behind for the day.  I am not talking vacuumed, dusted and spotless, just throw the toys in a toy box, make sure your sink is empty and all the dishes are done, counters are clean, and there aren't a ton of crumbs on the dining room table/floor. 

{ten} Don't Beat Yourself Up. Raising kids in hard work.  You can't do it all, no matter what!  Prioritize, and always stop to take time to sit back and just enjoy life.  It isn't about finishing a project, crossing items off a list, or having an immaculate house.  It's about enjoy the life you have created, and making memories your kids will treasure forever!

**Just to let y'all know, this post includes affiliate links!

Happy 6th Birthday Matthew!!!!

Today, my biggest little one is now 6 years old.  Wow.  SIX, how is that possible.  We are past the writing of weights, heights and milestones.  

Some awesome things that have happened in the past year for Matthew....

He became a big brother, again!

He has learned to read, and gets better everyday.

He has formed this gigantic love of anything competitive.  He loves playing baseball, football, basketball.  He will watch anything, and I mean anything on tv that includes a winner and loser.

He graduated Kindergarten!

 

He went the entire school year with perfect scores on all divisions of his report card, and not one time did the teacher have anything negative to say.  

He also Lost his first tooth!

Now we are gearing up for first grade, fall baseball, and just wrapping up a busy week at basketball camp.

He is a very active, entertaining, funny, amazing kid, who I love so much.  Him and his Dad are best buds, he takes such good care of his little sister and brother, is kind, and gives the best hugs.

Happy Birthday Matthew!!!  

5 On Friday

Today I am linking up with Darci, Natasha, Christina, and April for 5 on Friday!  I am so happy it's finally Friday.  Now if it would only bring some rain with it to cool things off during this terrible heat wave, I would be a happy girl.

{1} Yesterday I made a Target trip for some yogurt for the kids and of course came home with things that were not on my list (why does this happen every time?!?)  Anyway, The dollar section did it again, they have switched to classroom/back to school mode and I found some cute things for the playroom and some more workbooks to get us through summer, at $1 each, you can't beat it!  My new favorite pens are the steadtler fine point pens, and I FINALLY found a small pack that has 2 shades of purple.  Add in a Cherry Coke, and I call that a successful trip.

{2}  Yesterday was library day, our library is so nice, and a newer toy they have is a puppet show stage....how cute are my boys, Matthew putting on a show for his baby brother.

{3} Like I said it has been horribly hot out this week, which called for ice cream before lunch.  This is also currently my favorite outfit on Lilly. 

{4}  Ok, so I have been noticing JD looking more and more like his big brother, I I had to pull out an old (if 5ish years is considered old) photo to compare.... Matthew on the left and JD on the right..... Can we all agree that they are pretty much identical, and if JD grows up looking like his big bro that would be fine by me, I have a pretty handsome almost 6 year old if you ask me!

{5}Speaking of my awesome 6 year old.  He is really into the show Wipeout right now.  TBS happens to run reruns of it during the little kids nap time, and he thinks it is hilarious.  Now though he is starting to create wipeout zones in our playroom.  It is really cute, and can keep both kids occupied for hours, but also a bit scary!  The obstacle courses throughout my playroom remind me that sometimes just playing at home is just as fun for them as going on a big fancy play date.

52 Weeks of Blogging - Week 3 - 5 Years From Now

Today I am continuing a wonderful series hosted by one of my favorite blog reads, From Mrs. To Mama. 

You can read more about the link up Here.  

Today's Topic - - 5 Years from Now.

I always dislike these prompts....1,5,10 years from now....I come up with these great goals, plans and dreams that obviously never turn out exactly how I envision them. 

First I look back 5 years to see how far we've come, because you even though my perfect little life goals in my head never become real, it seems to become so much better.

5 years ago I was 21.  You know that wild and crazy age of drinking, late nights, bars, boys.   Well I guess I had the late nights and boys.  2 boys to be exact.  My husband of a year, and our almost 1 year old baby boy, and well the late nights, I can thank him for those!

Now the present I have a wonderful growing family.  The third child I was unsure if I could convince my husband to have, a home I thought we could never afford to buy (DC cost of living, you suck!), and a completely chaotic, crazy, hectic, wonderful life.

So, 5 years from now.......I will be 31.  THIRTY ONE!  wow. 

I will have an almost 11 year old (is that right? again, wow.) A 9 year old and a 5 1/2 year old. 

I hope to still be a stay at home mom.  I hope to be out of our current house, and into more of our forever house.  I hope most of all that I am still raising great, healthy, smart, happy kids.  I hope my husband and I still have as much love for each other as we do today, and as much bickering too! 

I am not necessarily hoping we are still in NoVA, but I can't imagine us not being here. 

I hope Matthew still has a love for competition, athletics, and reading.

I hope Lilly mellows out a bit, but not to much, a little sass never hurt anyone.

I hope Joshua still has his amazing blue eyes, and melt your heart smile. 

Most of all, I hope we are happy.  No matter where we are living, I hope that we still all enjoy the time we spend together, and are just.....happy.

Laundry and Laughter.

Our weekend was pretty mellow.  It involved an extremely rainy, cold, wet and muddy tball game bright and early Saturday morning.  When we got home there was NO way I was making my way back out.  We all changed into pjs and relaxed the rest of the day.  I made my way through mountains of laundry, and ordered take out.

Speaking of laundry.... my math doesn't seem to add up here, but we added one more child to our house, yet if feels like our laundry has tripled.  It is something I am really struggling to keep up with.  I thought I finished everything today and was caught up, yet I sit here and see an almost full hamper again.  I. Just. Can't. Keep. Up.

Sunday I had a list of errands to run, so I took advantage of these things that "needed" to be done, and took some time to myself to do them.  I ended up only doing about half of them though, I got a call that my boys wanted to head to the baseball field to play catch.  Priorities, right!

Also it probably wasn't something that started this weekend, but little man's laugh has come to life.  All weekend he was so happy and laughing out loud!  Cutest thing ever!

 

Now here we are back at Monday.  I know we all wish weekends were longer. Life seems to be going in double time lately.  

Coming up next weekend is a little getaway.  Kids are going to their Grandparents, Mommy and Daddy are getting 2 nights to themselves!!

Joshua - 4 Months

 Hello smiley 4 month old baby!!!  I can't even concentrate on typing looking at that adorable face.  What can I say.  You are too cute!  Not too much is new this month.  Well, there is the fact that you are now rocking a Mohawk.  Not by mama's choice, but it is what it is, that full head of hair is starting to fall out.  I am anticipating the day it starts growing back, hoping it is the bleach blonde that both your brother and sister had.  Speaking of that head of yours, we are also dealing with cradle cap, which is no fun. 

  

As far as your temperament goes, you are still our easy going happy boy.  We are noticing maybe the first signs of teething, with some very random fussy spurts.  You are still sleeping through the night, and taking 3 naps per day.  You like the car, and your bed.  You love sleeping in your crib.  Which is awesome!

No stats of height and weight until next week, but you are eating (by eating I still mean just the bottle) really well, and I have no concerns. 

 We love you baby boy!!