My Mindset As A "Work Widow"

As I lay in my bed writing this post, having just done homework with, played with, fed, bathed, and put all the kids to bed myself, I am think about the next few weeks.  I know that I will not be seeing my husband for at least 2 weeks.  In that time, we will have a weekend trip away, tball practices, quite a few meltdowns, approximately 42ish meals #ISUCKatMath, and my birthday.  I am what I have heard referred to as a "work widow".  I am also tired just thinking about all that!

Now I am not even closely trying to relate this to being a full time single parent, a real widow, or a military wife.  My husband just works a lot of hours, in a career he loves.  Early mornings, late nights, weekends, red eye flights, across the country....nothing is off limits.

I have been told I handle it so well, by many people.  While I can't say I am the perfect wife who never complains, gets angry, or wishes we had a normal 9-5 Monday-Friday schedule, I try to stay as positive as possible about our situation and life in general.

So how do I do it?

First and Foremost, I We make the most of the time we have together.  When we do get a full weekend without anything on the calendar, I try to keep it that way.  We relax, go to the park, maybe enjoy a meal out, head to church as a family.  I also use this time to refuel a bit.  I will take a morning to myself, usually at the mall, just to get some time alone.  My husband is amazing at completely focusing on the kids when he is home.  He is great at playing for hours on end, even when he probably wishes he were catching up on sleep.

I plan and prepare.  Some say I over organize, or write to many lists, but especially now with three kids, I make sure I don't double book myself when it is just me and the kids.  We just can't schedule a dance class on a day where the kids have church school.  It CAN'T happen.  I also try to limit the errands that need ran with all three kids.


I always am thankful.  We are so lucky to be in the position we are.  I am able to stay home, my husband is in a great position at work, and him being busy means things are going well.  There are so many who go through the struggle of loosing a job, trying to find work.  Heck, that could be us.  I am just so grateful that my husband's hard work and long hours have provided for us in so many ways.

{Matthew and Lillian "helping" at Daddy's office Fall 2010}

I remind myself that he doesn't want to be away.  My husband is working to support and provide for his family.  Yes he is career driven, and loves his job, but he doesn't want to be away from us.  He is doing it for us.  He may get fancy hotel rooms, great meals out, but he is also working his tail off, it isn't a vacation, and you know what those hotel beds don't come with, 6am snuggles, which I know he misses!

{Matt and Joshua Summer 2013}

One word, FaceTime.  This was a game changer for us.  Luckily the kids really haven't had a time that they remember without being able to chat face to face with their Dad.  Sometimes if he is on the west coast with the time change it gets a bit tricky, but being able for them to see him really helps.

Prioritizing.  When Matt is away I put my nose to the grindstone (one of my former teachers or coaches used to say that all the time).  I realize that if I don't do something then it isn't going to get done.  I really focus on doing/being my best when he is away.  It makes it easier on him, if he knows that all is well at home.

#naptime.  I have admitted before to occasionally taking a nap during the kids nap time, and when my husband is gone, this happens pretty frequently.  I don't sleep at night so well without him home, so I make up for it during nap.

I am so proud of my husband, the person, husband, and father that he is.  I know that if I were to complain all the time about our situation, it would just make everyone miserable.

1 comment:

  1. Great post. My husband works late which is hard with little kids. I think the key is being thankful and not feeling sorry for myself!