Let me explain.
This summer Matthew is doing summer baseball. It's 3 nights a week. The nice part is, my husband isn't really that busy with work during the summer, so he has not only been able to take him to practice, but also help coach.
It's great, they headed off to baseball in the evenings, I stay home with JD and Lilly, get housework done, get the housework finished for the day.
Why oh why do I end up looking at the clock the entire time, waiting for them to walk through the door to hear about his practice? I can't stand to be out of any part of his life. Obsessive much? I have gotten SOOO much better with him going off to school, and actually have little to no anxiety with Lilly going to preschool in the fall. I just wish I was there, to see him practice. I guess I could head out to practice to watch anyway, but with the heat we have been having, mixed with a 6 month old getting hot and sticky in a stroller, I probably wouldn't get to watch much anyway.
It feel like a lot of situations kids face, how they react to it, is based on how the parents react. I want my kids to be independent, self-sufficient people. I want them to want to do things on their own, and not to be forced to. I want them to know how to behave, even when I am not around. Therefor I need to show them through my actions, that it is fine to be on there own. To have times without me.
I guess I just don't want to miss a moment, even now, almost 6 years with Matthew here, I want to be there for everything, and that just isn't realistic. It isn't possible.
This is a great experience my husband and son get to have, both sharing their love for a sport that they both really enjoy. A time for them to be together without me there bossing them around.
So, I just need to learn to let go......just a little.
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