Blankey Babies

Both Matthew and Lilly were both blankey babies. So I just figure Joshua will be as well.  It is so fun looking back through old pictures of the kids with there favorite thing. It is also funny to see how badly the blankets have faded, and been beat up over the years.

It took Matthew the longest to get attached to his, I would say it was around 4 or 5 months.

{Our trip to Disney, sleeping with Blankey on the ferry ride.}

With Lilly she was pretty much attached to hers from day one.

{Matthew and Lilly with both of there blankeys}

 

{Lilly with her blanket dressed up like a kitten for Halloween}

So deciding on a blanket for Joshua was kind of a big deal for me.  I wanted something sturdy but also soft and snuggly.  I found the one below at Nordstrom and love it. 

Now both Matthew and Lilly only use their blankets at bedtime and if we are watching a movie.  We also let them take them in the car if we are making a long trip.  We really haven't discussed taking them away at all.  I would love to have something left of them to put in their box of baby items.  I don't think it is something we will push, because I don't see it as a problem right now. 

The Mom I Want To Be.

I have been at this mom thing for 5+ years, you would think by now I would have it mastered.  But I don't.  Honestly some days I feel like I am back at day one with Matthew, knowing nothing, trying to figure it all out.

At the end of so many days I wonder what more could I have done, did I spend too much time looking at my phone, was I short with Lilly, did I hold Joshua enough.  I always doubt my abilities of being a good mom.  Matt always says that is how I should know I am good.  Always wanting to be better for my children, never feeling like I am giving them enough.

I have wanted to be a mom my whole life.  Is it everything I dreamed it would be, no.  It is so much busier and hectic than I imagined.  Someone always needs something.  I just hope I am taking advantage of all the free moments we get to enjoy it.  Enjoy the random dance parties in the kitchen while making dinner, enjoy sitting at the baseball fields in the freezing cold watching Matthew play a game he loves, enjoy listening to Lilly read me book after book all day long, and enjoy the moments when Joshua is awake smiling sweetly at me 2am in the morning.  Not taking ANY of it for granted.

Most of all I hope one day my kids are proud of me.  Looking at me the way I look at my own mother.  Seeing the sacrifices and time I took to make their little childhoods as perfect as possible.  I hope my daughter grows up and wants to be a mommy, and wants to stay home to raise them, because that is what I did for her.  I hope my sons grow up to support their wives if staying home is what they chose to do.  I hope they look back with nothing but wonderful memories of this time.

I just need to remind myself is that all my kids what is for me to be me.  Not beat myself up over the things I don't do, embrace the things I do well.  I may not sit and play with my kids all day long, but I do let them go and play using their imaginations for hours in the afternoon, making gigantic messes of their rooms.  I may over schedule/obsess over mealtimes and bedtimes, but they have a routine that makes them feel secure, knowing everyday what to expect.  I am so lucky for the 3 greatest blessings in my life, and I know that they love me no matter what (even when Lilly tells me otherwise) and that I also have a wonderful supportive husband who thinks I am doing a great job.  And that is all that matters.

Friday Letters

 

Dear Spring, WHERE ARE YOU???  I am so ready for warmer weather, trips to the park, and walks outside.  

Dear kids in my neighborhood, I really can't stand you.  Although it is not your fault, you don't know better, but your parents should.  Being supervised by an adult would most likely stop you from acting immature and obnoxious.  Why your parents are not outside with you is beyond me, and something I lose sleep over.  I would could never leave me kids unattended playing in our neighborhood.  And please stop leaving trash on the playground, it is just gross!

Dear little family of mine, well we are not that little anymore, but anyway.....I love you all so much.  It is so wonderful being your wife/mother.  I love taking care of you all.  But I will say for some reason the laundry piles have been much higher lately.  I swear I am spending most of my free time in the laundry room trying to stay caught up.  If y'all could only wear 1 outfit per day I would appreciate it....I know that is a lot to ask!

Dear Joshua, your smile is AMAZING.  Now that your baby ache is gone, you are so much cuter (that is so mean I know, but true) and more cuddly!  We are coming up on 2 months!!!!  You are truly my baby, and hope you don't mind that it's going to be the case for the next of 30 years :)

  

Dear March, I am excited for you.  Lots of fun things happening this month.  Matt and I's 6 year anniversary, Matt also turns 29....eekkkk, March Madness, my favorite time of year!, Spring break, which we are spending traveling to see family, and EASTER!!!!  

Dear Blog, I kind of just got really excited.  I have been typing away, and you have successfully helped me avoid the box of vanilla wafers sitting next to me.....SCORE!